Friday, March 20, 2009

Landing a leap of faith

Today is the hardest day.
The day after the leap back onto the recovery wagon.
When you can still go either way - a safe landing or a splat on the road.
Today,the gilt of excitement from the initial jump has worn off and you are faced with the not so pretty underside.
Facing food.

Yesterday, I felt strong – bolstered by a friend my hubby to screech at ED, to have faith to stop running behind the wagon and just jump.

Today, I am hesitant – in mid-air and not sure where I’ll land. I've been wishing someone would hold out a hand.

But the reality is that no one can help eat the food in front of me.

I can ask for encouragement, reassurance, support, hand-holding, but the bottom line is only I can take the bite.

This part is up to me.

Jenni Schaefer wrote in Life Without ED that the next time you find yourself in front of a plate of food, don't try to liven it up, just eat it.

The courage is inside of me. It's inside of you, too. We don't need ED. My friend said that the louder ED gets, the weaker he is. He's screaming at me now.

So here it goes...

Fork you, ED.

3 comments:

Gaining Back My Life said...

LOVED the 'fork you' comment.

Keep fighting. You are stronger than your ed.

Lisa said...

Happy Holidays! My name is Lisa Hope and I am the assistant editor of Disorder.org. I am contacting you today in hopes of developing a strategic partnership with your website; we have seen your site and think your content is great. Disorder.org is an online gateway for people to find information regarding disorder diagnosis, symptoms, and treatment -- and is continually adding content. More specifically, Disorder.org is starting a campaign to promote awareness about eating disorders of all types. If you're interested in a partnership, please contact me at lisa.disorder.org@gmail.com.

Lou Lou said...

haha fork you! awesome!
i wrote a letter to my ED (post 9), and i slipped down the slippery slope and let my ED win a few days ago, and i am so glad i wrote the letter because reading it reminded me of the strength I could have and the way i really feel when i am way louder than my ED.
i know a lot of people write them.. i found it suvch a helpful tool to get back on the wagon. i loved your profile blurb pole divA! hell yeah! kia kaha girl, stay strong! loubie