Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Pole divas don't need ED

Once again, I apologize for the delay. Work has been crazy lately and the last thing I've wanted to do when I get home is type. lol

But, I can't leave everyone in suspense any longer.

My graduation and recital were awesome!

Graduation night (Thursday) was our regular class night. The only ones there were my classmates and my teacher. We warmed up to all of our favorite songs and then jumped right into performing. I went second that night. But anyway, I nailed my routine!!!

Pose where I hold onto the pole with one hand and my inner thighs - check!
Peter pan spin into a flying body spiral - check!
Rollerskating spin - check!
Handstand to the pole with flirt and pose - check!
Invert with one leg out, then switched to have the other leg hang down, then turn around and slide down (upside down) - check!
And all the spins and moves in between - CHECK!

What a rush! All my classmates cheered and hooted and hollered and at the end, some even stamped the floor for a thunderous applause!

When I finished, my teacher told the class that I'm her most special student - because I was with her from her very first Intro class at the studio (even before she officially taught a class!) She also added that after the class I had said that I had to sign up for her class (which was absolutely true!) She then presented me with my camisole (she gave each of us a personalized one) with the letters O. G. on it - for Original Gangster. I was beyond touched.

Since I got my routine out of the way, I hooted and hollered for everyone else. Everyone looked awesome!

So, after everyone performed, we all stood in a line and while we made a massage train, my teacher asked each of us to say what was the best thing about our time at the studio. We all said, "besides every one of you, ..." For me, I said (paraphrasing,) "besides everyone of you, it's the fact that I no longer look in the mirror and cringe. I do a little hip circle and love the sexy beast I see."

Then my teacher passed out the black thongs and champagne! I didn't stay to drink - partly because our class had run over and I didn't want Todd to worry; but also because I don't drink.

All week, I had been planning for the recital. I organized a gift from all my classmates and me to our teacher, arranged to have a curtain call (so that we could surprise our teacher with said gift,) and I even composed a poem. Unfortunately, I couldn't get anyone else to recite the poem and present the gifts.

So, after class on Thursday, I was more nervous about being the "spokesdiva" than about performing my routine in front of a) Todd (who has never seen any of my moves, since I don't have a pole in our apartment... yet) and b) in front of strangers.

I got to the studio early - because I couldn't hang out in our apartment with my parents and Jack - I was way too nervous to sit still. I stretched and warmed up and then we had an "official" warm up. My teacher called all of us into the office. With the door closed, she pulls out a bottle of Goldschlogger (spelling?) and tiny shot glasses and starts pouring while she goes over the details of the evening. She reminds us, as she passes out the shots, that the recital was all about having fun. No one except the ladies in that room knew what our routines were "supposed" to be and we love each other anyways. I tried to pass on the shot saying that I haven't had a drink since before Jack was born. (That shocked everyone.) They responded that it's about time that I had one. So I accepted a half a glass. We toasted and I sipped. Whoa, nelly! It singed my mouth!! That's when I was told, "You need to down it in one."

Call me a prude, call me square, but I've never (until last Friday) had done a shot. Ever. So I downed it. In one. And felt warm and giddy over my accomplishment. Because I did it.

So then, my teacher kicked off the public part of the evening by introducing the first dancer. I came next - and my introduction was a lot like the night before. My routine this time was amazing - even though I didn't nail my routine. My teacher told me that I covered well though. I threw in a few extra spins at the end to make up for the few things that I missed.

In the middle of my routine, I heard Todd yell out, "Holy Sh*t!" (Remember, he had never seen any of my moves before.) It was the best thing - because even though I missed my handstand and a few other things, I was still amazing the hell out of almost everyone in that room.

After that, I wasn't anxious anymore - I knew I'd recite my poem just fine.

And I did.

Once I was finished and we passed out the gifts (the group one to our teacher, and a framed copy of my poem to the owner of the studio,) we group-hugged. Then I passed out copies of my poem to all my classmates. The owner of the studio (who hadn't opened her gift) came up to me and said, "I have to have a copy of that." I told her she already did.

Afterwards, we all went out to a new restaurant (that has 4 or 5 bars!) and celebrated. People I didn't even know who had come to the recital to support others came up to me to compliment me on my routine and my poem!

8-)

And that night, once Todd and I came home and got into bed, I relived the night.

And not the mistakes that I made - which is what I would always do in the past. I relived the confidence I felt as I recited my poem; the pride that I felt when I heard Todd's exclamation of awe. I was jazzed and couldn't stop smiling at myself.

And since that night, I haven't been able to stop smiling at myself.

For the first time. ever. I feel RECOVERED.

I'm a Pole Master now. A black thong. I accomplished that. All by myself. In this body.

So yeah, I may never lose my "baby" pouch belly and I may have muscular arms that look bulky, but ta-damn*! I'm a sexy beast!!!

I love me. And damnit, I'm going to nourish my body and soul.
8-)



[I'll post my poem to my private blog (Digging me up in the dark - just email me for an invite.)]

* ae - was this your phrase? Because I used it in a quote for the recital program and all the women LOVED it! In fact, the owner is incorporating it into her vocabulary, she loved it so much.
So thank you!!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Stay tuned...

Just a quick post to say that I am doing okay - just been a busy weekend between my recital (I was great!) and my parents' visit.

I will come back and give you all the details of my recital. So stay tuned...

8-)