Friday, June 22, 2007

What's Your Theme Song?

My therapist asked me once if I had a theme song - a song that defines me.

I thought about it (after wiping the puzzlement from my face) and couldn't think of one all-defining song. Many songs have spoken to me over my life; a different one for every stage of growth. For instance, Billy Joel's "Code of Silence" from The Bridge CD (I think) really spoke to me when my I first began to uncover the pain inside. But it wasn't a theme song for long. I changed that.

I thought about all sorts of songs - my taste in music is rather broad; my mixes often combine Creed, Billy Joel, Richard Marx, Nickelback, and Bon Jovi with John Denver, Michael Buble', Kenny Rogers, and Celine Dion. And then I usually throw in some Mozart or Beethoven.

Anyway, I digress.

On my drive home from therapy that night, I heard my theme song on the radio.
"Bitch" by Meredith Brooks.

"I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one.
I'm a bitch; I'm a lover;
I'm a child; I'm a mother;
I'm a sinner; I'm a saint;
I do not feel ashamed."

Yup. That just about defines me.

And the best line of all, "You know you wouldn't want me any other way."

I carry the lyrics with me in my purse, so if I ever need a pick-me-up, I just sing the song in my head. Amazing, really - how one melody can empower us with so much strength.

So, what's your theme song?

7 comments:

ms. em said...

hi jeanne,

love this post!
music is such an enormous part of my life and my recovery...at the moment, i have to go with:
Arcade Fire: Rebellion (Lies)

And, I do have a pretty steady mix of Bright Eyes and Johnny Cash that spins around in my head.

em

Sarah said...

Wow! Hard to pick just one. But I like yours!

Maybe right now, Other Side of the World by KT Tunstall:

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water

Jeanne said...

Em, I admit, I had to YouTube Arcade Fire to know what song you meant. lol (Showing my age, am I?) That's a great song!
Okay, another confession - I never hear of Bright Eyes either, but I found their website adn listened to a few clips - good stuff. I can see why their in your head.

Sarah, I love KT Tunstall! This is one of my favorite songs.

ms. em said...

hey jeanne,

glad you found your way to the songs! i listen to quite a bit of indie rock. so...rest assured, it has nothing to do with age!!! it's just if you are really into that genre then you'd know these bands. and, if you're not, you'd kinda have to go outta your way to find out about them.

i do think i have a new soundtrack. i posted the you tube video on my blog. look forward to hearing what you think about it!

Jeanne said...

Hello Ms. Em,

Yes, I did catch the video you posted - Very moving! I love the lyrics of Keep On Moving - I'm reminded of the times when I started to have blips of memories of my abuse, but I wasn't entirely sure that it was real. I was hiding my pain. But I "pushed through my greatest fears" and I kept on living.

Thanks, Ms. Em!

ms. em said...

I do relate so very much.
I used to work for a child advocacy center in nyc. It was very healing to help work on behalf of an issue that had played such an unfortunate role in my life. I do know it isn't for everyone, but I wanted to share as it was something that did help me process being sexually abused as a child.

And, I'm 29. We're not too far apart in age:)

Have a great day!

Jeanne said...

Hey Ms. Em,

When my son gets a little bit older and I find that I have some extra time on my hands, I would like to volunteer at an abuse and/or ed helpline. I, too, think it would be incredibly therapeutic.

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not that incredibly out of touch! (Or alone. Oftentimes, those who are in recovery from EDs are young enough to be my daughters and I feel ancient. lol)

Keep on living!