Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Life in the Now

Sally Squires wrote an article for the Washington Post today about Jack LaLanne. In it, she quotes, "'The good old days,' LaLanne says. 'Poop. The good old days are now, now, now. What I think about is now. This is the moment I have waited for. This is it. These are the good old days.'"

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Ironic that my husband and I were having a conversation just last night, in a similar vein.

I will be heading back to my childhood home in about a month's time to visit. Mainly to visit with my grandma who, although very active and completely coherent at 94, is unable to make the 400 mile trek to my new home.

But I admitted to Todd that I do have other reasons for going. And specifically, for going essentially alone. (My son will be with me.) But I digress - I'll come back to these reasons in a future post.

The topic turned to how angry Todd is at my brother - for what he did to me. "It affects every part of your life now. It affects my life now." (I paraphrase.)

I replied that, yes, that is true, but the same could be said about every single person who has ever came into our lives. Every person has an affect on another - sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad.

But we have a choice - we can choose to wallow and blame these people for the wrongs they committed against us, or we can acknowledge the wrongs and move on with our lives.

By choosing the latter, we choose to live in the moment. What happened, happened. We can't change that (unless someone has a pocket time machine that I don't know about...)

My grandpa used to gently chastise my grandma for saying "I coulda" or "I shoulda" or "I woulda." These thoughts lead nowhere. You didn't - and it's okay.

My favorite saying is that everything happens for a reason, though we may not know why. As long as we make our choices with the best information available for the best of everyone involved (self, included,) then we have no cause for regrets.

Life in the now, with the information and knowledge that the past provides, is good. Try it sometime.


cindy said...

"As long as we make our choices with the best information available for the best of everyone involved (self, included,) then we have no cause for regrets."

I love that. That's similar to a saying I have in Chinese, loosely translated "I would not do something that I can't forgive myself for later."

Jeanne said...

I like that loose translation, Cindy. The ancient peoples of this world had so many nuggets of wisdom - probably what makes them so quotable. ;-)

ms. em said...

Hi Jeanne,

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I included a link to your blog on my main page:) If you'd like to do the same, I'd welcome it.

More importantly, reading your post was as if i was reading a page out of my blog. I don't know if you've read very much of it, but there is a whole post about "coulda, woulda, shoulda." I laughed out loud when I realized that your grandmother used to say the same words. Smart woman!

After reading your profile, I wanted to share with you that I was sexually molested as a child by a babysitter. Working in victim assistance, specifically for child advocacy centers, was one of the most powerfully healing experiences for me. I couldn't agree with you more about accepting the past and moving forward. I know easier said than done, however when we actualize it, it does make healing a whole lot easier.

with hope,
ms. em

Jeanne said...

Hello Ms. Em,

Actually, I found the survivor's club just today (popped up in my Google alert for "eating disorders.") I didn't have time to read much except your post entitled "Jeopardy: I'll take ED Recovery for $1000," which struck a chord with me.

I also think that helping others will help me as well, however this blog and my random postings at Pandy's Aquarium have to suffice for now. ;-)

Keep up the great work!