Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Prying out of ruts

I haven't been online much lately. The weather where I am has turned absolutely gorgeous - sunny and warm - that I've been enjoying some much loved time with my family.

When I actually got around to checking my email, I found some opportunities for a friend of mine who is currently out of work (having been laid off from the same company that let me go last year.) So I called her up to chat for a few minutes. She emailed me back an apology for not writing more or calling. She wanted to hide because she thinks that all she ever has to share is "bad news."

So I wrote her back, apologizing for not being there for her because I was living my life. I also let her in on my new way of thinking. I focus on the positives as much as possible. And while not everything in my life is peaches and cream, and while I do feel all emotions now (many not so pleasant ones,) I do allow myself to experience each moment fully.

One of my favorite Thoreau quotes is:

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.... I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life..."

And while I'm not willing to go live like a hermit in the middle of the woods for any stretch of time (lol), I am willing to seek out every enjoyable moment in this life and experience it fully.

Does this take a lot of courage? Perhaps. But what is the alternative? John, my therapist often reminded me that great risks often equal great rewards.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, but I also believe in free will. We all make choices in our lives, everyday. I've come to realize that if we choose to live with a choice, that's still a choice we've made and at any given time, we can choose something else. I guess I believe that life is too short to spend even one moment of it feeling resigned or stuck. If my groove turns into a rut, I'll choose a different groove, or better still, make a new groove. ;-) Life is just too damn short.

So for those of you who think you are stuck in a rut, remember that the power is within you to change. No one can do it for you.

Helen Keller said it best. "You make your own heaven."

So, what do you want heaven to look like?

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